It's How You Say It

I guess my naivete shows when I think that everyone's mama taught them the same things my mama taught me, such as "it's not what you say, it's how you say it." By that I mean employing tact, especially when what you're trying to say could end up being misunderstood or hurt someone's feelings, even unintentionally. But apparently everyone's mama did NOT teach them to use tact. In that moment that the filter between brain and mouth either temporarily fails or isn't used at all, you wish you could stop them before they say something that can't be taken back. Even if not meant in a hurtful way, once it comes out that way, it's too late. You can't un-hear what you just heard. Your brain records every single thing-sights, sounds, smells, feelings-from the day you were born up until now. While you don't consciously remember most of it, it still takes place. And those things that are said that can't be called back are the things that you remember longer than the compliments and nice things. In moments when you are feeling sad or vulnerable, the memory of those words comes back to taunt you. You try not to let them, but it happens to everyone. And some things are so hurtful you feel like it would have been better to have been struck instead. A physical hurt heals. Words can stay with you forever. I've been guilty of this, too, so I'm not that person living in denial. We all have done it, said something we wish we could take back. I try very hard not to do that to others because I know how it feels. I'm not one of these people who think every person is just the best ever and everybody gets a trophy for effort, but I endeavor to build people up rather than say things that make them question their worth. A little tact goes a long way! There ARE better ways to say what you mean without being oblivious to others' feelings. That's my soapbox for today-just something that was bothering me.