I always knew that someday I'd have children, I just didn't realize it would be this late in life. I don't regret waiting-there are a lot of things I got to do that I wouldn't have otherwise if I'd had children at that time. And I knew I wasn't ready. (yeah, I know you're never really "ready," but on some level I knew I wasn't and made the conscious decision to not have any during those years.) I found people's different takes on motherhood interesting. For some, it was the best thing since sliced bread. For others, it was one horror story after another and they never seemed to experience many happy moments. I wondered which would be my experience. I knew it could neither be as rosy & perfect as the first group portrayed, but surely it couldn't be as bad as the other group portrayed! (could it?!) My own mother seemed to really enjoy being a mama and enjoyed spending time with us, and trust me, Monty and I were no angels. (haha) So when I found out I was pregnant late in 2009, I was kind of worried. What if I didn't enjoy motherhood as much as my mom did???? Would that make me a bad person, a bad mom? What if my child was a holy terror from birth? (after all, I'm sure we've all heard our mothers say, "Just wait til you have children-I hope they turn out to be just like you!" LOL)
Well as it turns out, those worries were all for naught. I know it sounds funny, but I believe Iain and I had a little connection right from the beginning, from the womb. I was never sick and he pretty much stayed low the whole time and never kicked my ribs. (my mom can tell you stories about me in the womb, foot lodged against her ribs...sounds painful.) He liked pretty much anything I ate, especially spicy food (I believe our favorite was Taco Bell crunchy tacos with mild sauce. I will leave out how many at a time I would eat, though...embarrassingly gluttonous.) When he was born, there really wasn't any labor pains (didn't even know I was IN labor), and bless him, he was 5 weeks early. He must have known how swollen mommy's ankles were. This was my kind of kid already! Within 2 months, he was sleeping through the night, rarely cried, never screamed, always pleasant. I believe a few times I jokingly asked him, "Are you SURE you're my kid?" Where were the sleepless nights? The endless rocking? The zombie-like state I was supposed to be in? (is there such as thing as parental guilt in regards to not experiencing these things? If so, I had a mild case.)
Now almost 10 months old, he is still the most pleasant baby-always happy and smiling. He's healthy as a horse, even teething he rarely cries, and he is so playful and sweet and smart.He loves to travel, just like mommy. (He ought to,we have traveled all over the state seems like, since he was in my tummy!) In short, he is a complete joy. I LOVE being a mommy, more than I ever thought I would. I love everything about it, from the fun stuff all the way down to the bottle washing and dirty diapers.I am having the time of my life!! Will his personality change as he gets older? Maybe, but I hope not. He's such a sweetie! We are so blessed to have this wonderful child.
So this is my first actual Mother's Day. I find myself looking forward to the handmade cards and paintings like we made for our mothers when we were little. This year, he's too little for the cards and the paintings (he'd just try to eat them) so I'll settle for spending time with my own mother and Iain and our family, having some steaks that my daddy will grill and hoping that soon Iain will say "Mama." It's not far off-we've been practicing! :)
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